Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Saving it for marriage

That would be October 24th, people.

This weekend, a few thoughts popped into my head [however, for the most part it was pretty empty up there during my awesome four day weekend, thanks MLK Jr!!]:

1. We have a date set, should we, you know, officially tell people to Save The Date?

2. Who would we really want to save that date?

3. Let's never get on  tiny bus to Athens with Mr. B's co-workers ever again. Unless we want to be entertained by grown men signing and dancing along to Wilson Phillips, Celine Dion, etc at 2:30 in the morning.

You see, we have quite a wide range of estimated attendance to this grand shindig. At the high end, if everybody came, we would have 115 folks. But if we go with a low estimate, it could be around 73. A swing of over 40 people hugely impacts reception venues. Don't want to plan for all 115 and have 40 empty seats [and also pay a higher price for a bigger venue]. And certainly don't want to have standing room only.

So, I came up with the brilliant idea of formally announcing the date we have chosen to wed and requesting people reply with their vague intentions of attending or not. Nothing binding here, but give us an idea if you're positive you won't come or think you might skip out. Is that allowed? Can you request an RSVP to a Save the Date?

Please advise.


  1. If you have a final guest list, and everyone you're sending out a save-the-date card is actually going to be receiving an invitation, then you could try it, but 99% people will say "yes" because it's exciting and the people in your world are jazzed and then as life intervenes...well you know... and if you want to send out a more blanket swath of save-the-dates, just to shout it from the rooftops (and way wouldn't you?), you become faced with the problem of everyone who has a "save it" will be expecting an invite. The bottom line, you have to expect the bigger number. We because of our limited budget only invited 55 people (5 of whom we knew wouldn't come, but it was a courtesy)and out of those 50, every one of them responded in the affirmative and RSVP'd, but 40 showed up. ...I would say plan for 90 at the least. And be very strict about guests RSVPing on time. It saves you a lot of stress and money.

  2. I should clarify: yes, everyone will certainly be receiving an invitation, but the biggest struggle is with my large and far away extended family. We're not close, and I just CANNOT predict who will be willing to make the trek!

    But I think your estimate of planning for 90 might be on the money. Thanks!!

  3. We have a bigger list, but I'm planning on 20 percent not coming and RSVPing No. We aren't sending save the dates, b/c, well, we're just not.

    Then a friend told me to count out 10 percent of the people who RSVP yes, because they will not show. This, to me, was blasphemy. Why bother saying yes if you aren't going to show? I guess for the last minute events that happen.

    I think you should be fine planning for 90.

  4. I've been using 75-80% of the total guest invite list for the estimated number! Having been in a number of weddings this year, I've seen a few different things- 60% showing up all the way to 80% coming. So, i'd say that 70% is a good estimate!


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